literature

Alone ~ Depressed!England X Child!Ill!Reader

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It was a cold night.

England was sitting on a bench at the local park, in nothing more than his military uniform. Lately, he hasn't been feeling very well, and it wasn't helping that America was happy with his new girlfriend.

It was just like then.

England hasn't really been eating, and if he eats, it isn't very much. He has been locked up in his room for most of the time, only coming out when he needed to fulfil some needs.

To put it simple, England was depressed.

Why is he depressed, you ask?

It started about a week ago. England was on his way to the World Conference, when he saw some of his ex-colonies. He saw how happy they were, and it made him think.

'Was I a bad brother...?'

He tried his best to get rid of the depression that was creeping in back then, but hasn't been successful, so his mind became engulfed in negative thoughts.

'Was I a bad brother?
Wasn't I good enough?
Why did they leave?
Did they hate me?'


Over the past week, his depression got worse, but he refused to let anyone know about it.

For the others, he was just plain, tsundere England.

Now, sitting on that bench at the park, he let those negative thoughts creep up once again. Pulling his legs up and slinging his arms around them, he closed his eyes, letting it begin.

'Didn't they like my food? Was that it?
Was that why they left me?
Did they even have a reason to leave me?
Didn't they like to be taking of by me?'


At that lost thought, he let a single tear fall.

'I probably was the worst brother ever...'

And with that, he began sobbing openly. Not caring if anyone heard or saw him. He didn't care if France saw him, neither if America saw him. He just simply needed to let it out.

That was when a girl got into view. She had (hair length), (hair colour) hair, that was shining brightly in the light of the street lamps, since it was night time.

The girl, who's seen England cry from afar, wanted to make him felt better.

Said girl, who was named (name) (last name), was actually ill, having to bare a disease that was incurable. Today was her last day on Earth before she went to Heaven, and she wanted to do good to the people around her, making last, beautiful memories in the place she called home.

(name), being around 6 years of age, actually knew many things, and was wiser than anybody else of her age. She only knew that much because her family was very poor, and sometimes couldn't afford a meal. She had to grow up in the worst condition, but even so her parents still loved her, and did not regret having her.

England - who was too busy to notice little (name) - continued weeping, not aware of the presence right before him.

"Mister, why are you crying?" a young feminine voice called out to him.

England lifted his head, only to see a little girl standing before him, looking at him with worry lacing her bright (eye color) eyes.

England - who tried to wipe away his tears - choked out:

"I-I'm not crying, poppet!"
"I can see that your lying, mister. I can feel your pain,"

She said, still looking at him worriedly, but pain clearly visible in her eyes.

England - who was shocked that a random little girl could see right through him - froze. Not trying to hide the tears anymore, he asked the question that formed in his mind.

"...How do you know?"
"I am hurt myself, mister..."
"Kirkland. Arthur Kirkland,"
"...Mister Kirkland. And I am (last name). (name) (last name). Nice to meet you!"

She replied happily, smiling brightly at him. England - who couldn't control what he did anymore - smiled at her and replied.

"Nice to meet you too, poppet,"

She smiled once again, before she climbed up the bench, sitting down next to England.

"Could you tell me about your problems?" she bluntly asked, leaving England confused.

"Why would want to know my problems? It's not like they ma-"
"They do matter, Mister Kirkland. I want to help you. So please, tell me?"

She looked at him, worry latching in her eyes once again. England - who did not like to see her worrying - sighed, and began to tell her.

He told about his family, his brothers, and everyone he took care of, he told her how he thought that he was a bad brother and that they left. Somewhere in between, he burst out into tears once again.

She nodded every once in a while, indicating that she was indeed listening, and comforted him when he burst out into tears once again.

He ended his ranting with a last "And that's why I am a bad brother,".

He did not dare to look at the girl, who said nothing. He was scared of what she would think of him now.

But her reply shocked him.

"That's rubbish,"

He looked at her, shocked.

"Why would you think you're a bad brother?! From what I've just heard from you, you are one of the best brothers someone could have! I mean, which brother breaks his arm, just to make a toy for his little brother?"

That made him think. He did break his arm, making that toy for America.

"And wasn't your little brother Alfred happy about the toy you made for him?"

Yes... America was happy when he got it!

"And even though you and your family had your ups and downs,"

That made him sad, the negative thoughts coming back.

"It all is part of humanity, right?"

Now that made him look up. Part of humanity...?

"I mean, humans wouldn't be the same humans if we wouldn't feel, right?"

That was true...

"And there needs to be a fight every once in a while! A perfect relationship with family doesn't exist, you know? Sure, every fight seems cold, and afterwards you feel bad about it, but doesn't the make-up make your bond stronger?"

That made England think once again.

"It's part of us humans to fight for what we think is right; Fighting is normal. There is no way that someone doesn't fight once in a while with the other one. And without fighting, we wouldn't learn to feel feelings like regret, right? We wouldn't know what regret, sadness, pain or anything else is, if we only knew feelings of happiness and love. Fights between loved ones show us what other feelings there are, except for love and happiness. It teaches us something that we need to know in what we call life, and is a vital part of us. Wouldn't it be creepy if everyone loved everyone? A perfect world, in which no ones fight?"

This girl surely knew something.

"Either way, fighting is normal between loved ones, because there simply can't be a prefect relationship. Fighting every once in a while is healthy. And after all, regrets and mistakes are memories made, no?"

England looked at her once again, only to see her smiling warmly at him.

England opened his mouth to say something, but Big Ben's chimes from the bells interrupted him. It was midnight.

England didn't realize that another single tear fell out of his eye, until he felt little (name) kissing it away.

Little (name) handed England the Tudor rose she had been holding the whole time.

"I need to go now, Mister Kirkland. But please, keep on being happy for me alright?" she asked, her voice slowly breaking into a shaky tone, indicating that she was scared and that she was about to cry. What he didn't know, was, that she felt her own heartbeat slowly decreasing, indicating that this was her last hour to live in the world she called her home.

England - who looked at the rose - could only think:

'The Tudor rose is my national flower...'

When he heard her words, he could only nod, not knowing what held him back. But before he could look at her once again, she ran away, shouting a (teary) "THANK YOU, MISTER KIRKLAND!" before she was out of sight.

England looked at the flower again, deciding that it was time to head home and sleep a night over it, not knowing that he has just fulfilled the little girls' last wish.

~*The next day, morning*~

England actually slept through the night, without any nightmares. He was relieved that his nightmares finally stopped, and his chest didn't feel as heavy anymore, since he told little (name) about his problems.

Oh yeah, little (name)! He wondered how you was doing…

He looked through his mail, for the first time since the depression, and sorted out the letters that he didn't need, or where advertisement.

When he was done with the mail, he looked over at the newspaper. Deciding to read it, he opened up the first page, only to be shocked with sadness to the bone.

'TRAGIC DEATH OF (name) (last name) LAST NIGHT, WHO SUFFERED FROM AN INCURABLE DISEASE.'

England felt like he could die right then and there. He looked at the picture of the 6-year old girl.

It was her.

He set the newspaper down, not wanting to read on, and buried his face into the palms of his head. Realizing what she meant with 'Keep on being happy for me', he began to sob once again. It wasn't because of his ex-colonies, no. It was because of her.

The only person that understood and helped him, was now gone too.

But after about a minute, he abruptly stopped his crying.

'No,', he thought, 'I need to keep on being happy. For me and for her. That's the last thing I can do for her, like she has done for me.'

With that thought in mind, he wiped away his tears, and dressed himself for the upcoming Allies-Meeting.

~*Time skip*~

The Allies-Meeting has ended by now, and as always nothing has been done. Everyone, for the exception of England, America and Canada, has left already. England, wanting to talk with America, walked up to him, who was blabbering Canada full of being the hero.

Canada, noticing the asking look England gave him, excused himself and went home.

England cleared his throat.

"America?"

Said man looked over at England.

"Oh, hey Iggy-dude! How are ya?"
"I-I'm fine. I just wanted to say..."
"You wanted to say...?"
"..."
"..."
"...Thank you,"
"...For what?"

England swiftly walked past him, muttering a single sentence.

"...For being my little brother,"

And with that, England was gone, leaving a confused America in the Allies' Conference Room.

When he finally got the meaning of that simple sentence, he smiled a warm smile that not many saw.

"...You're welcome, England,"

He isn't alone.
:iconfeelsplz:

England, Hetalia (c) :iconhimaruyaplz:
Storyline, this piece (c) ZelinkerTeam
© 2014 - 2024 ZelinkerTeam
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animes02's avatar
oh shit.... Komari Kamikita (Crying) [V5]  Pikachu Crying Plz   those god damnDanisnotonfire: FEELS